Make Life More Exiciting

Haven’t posted in a while! Found a great article on another blog about how to become a more interesting person. Having a life that you enjoy and takes you out of the house is half the battle.

STOP BEING BORING: A GUIDE TO BECOME A MORE INTERESTING PERSON

Exercise 2: Burn Your Boats

Why is it, when given the same resources, one person can achieve a goal while another fails miserably?

The answer is simple, but very important. Without this one thing you will fail over and over. Without it you will be left wondering why you keep running into obstacles, why you run into the same obstacles time after time. You will see little, if any, progress towards your goal.

This key to success is 100% commitment.

With 100% commitment, you do not need a plan. You do not need a guide, a website, a forum, a mentor or a self-help coach – you can start with 100% commitment and find success. You will naturally find the solutions to the challenges that face you because you know that you must succeed.

What do I mean by 100% commitment? I mean that you have decided that this goal is important enough that you will give virtually anything to achieve it – it is not something you would like to accomplish, or hope to accomplish, it something that you must accomplish. With any goal there will be a level of sacrifice required of you. That sacrifice may be time, it may be money, it may be comfort, it can even be your mind set: the very perspective that you view the world through. Nofap requires many sacrifices, the first of which you will do today.

In a legend of Alexander the Great there is a story where he had invaded a province of Persia by sea. Upon arrival, Alexander’s scouts went to spy on the Persian camps. They found that the Persian battalions there were much larger than they had anticipated. When Alexander’s men heard this they pleaded with him to retreat – to go home. Alexander thought on this and ordered his men to set fire to their boats saying

“We leave these shores in Persian ships or we die”.

Just like Alexander ordered his men, you must burn your own ships – give yourself no option to retreat. To fail at Nofap for the rest of your life is to be an addict, to be a slave. Will you live as a slave or will you rise up and fight as a man? Give yourself no mock defense, the time has come to burn you own boats.

Exercise:

  1. On paper (you will remember it better!), make a list of the 5 most recent times you failed at Nofap – your relapses. Write down the details surrounding that relapse, including where you were, what you used to relapse (computer, pornography magazine, imagination / fantasy, lotion, toys, etc.), why you relapsed and anything else that stands out to you. Be specific, explain it on paper as you would to a stranger who does not know you.
  2. Find the key factors in each example that caused you to relapse. For example, you might have a laptop in your bedroom. As you tried to fall asleep you kept thinking of using the laptop for pornography. Slowly as the night went on that desire built up until you lost control and gave in, causing you to relapse. The laptop would be the key factor here.
  3. Come up with a plan to eliminate all of these key factors from your life: If you have a laptop, sell it! If you can’t sell it then find someone to put on blocking software and accountability software.  If you have pornography magazines, burn them or throw them in the trash. Got a smartphone? Down-grade to a flip phone with no web browser. Stop keeping lotion on your nightstand. Whatever it is that causes you to stumble and fall – get rid of it!

And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell – Mark 9:47

You don’t have to be a Christian to appreciate that verse 🙂

Stay strong! As always if you have questions, leave a comment.

Exercise 1: Figure Out Why You Must Quit

Nofap is hard work. Virtually everything I teach to you through this blog will be exercise based. We as humans learn much more by doing than by reading, hearing or watching. So get ready to work and be a doer.

Let me tell you right now, it will be easier for you to give up fapping for life than it will be to give it up for 90 days. If you focus on 90 days you give yourself permission to relapse at 91 days.  If you focus on a week, you will give yourself permission to relapse after a week. Don’t be fooled by the media, don’t be fooled by your friends, don’t be fooled by your douche-bag brain!  Porn is evil and no one who is masturbating is striving to be the greatest version of themselves. I’m sorry if you feel differently and I’ve offended you but this blog is about truth and helping people who want to be cured – if that’s not you then you are reading the wrong blog.

Onward!

Why do we fap?

I hated fapping and porn. After I used I always felt depressed, empty, lonely and scared. I was scared people would find out about my addiction. I was separated from all joy. I felt I had no self control and no self worth. I couldn’t talk to girls because every time I even looked at a cute girl I saw porn scenes running through my mind.  I was tired all the time because I spent hours and hours on the computer every day looking for “the perfect scene” where all my fantasies would be fulfilled. I virtually never went outside, exercised or hung out with my friends. Fap was consuming my life. I was sick to death of fap and of the lifestyle.

So why didn’t I just stop?

Firstly, I was an addict. I firmly believe that the neurochemicals released during fap can create psychological dependence.

But psychologically there was a reason I continued to fap even though it was painful and harmful. It is called the pleasure-pain principle. Anthony Robbins, renowned success guru / life coach talks about this subject a lot. That’s because it is so important in understanding how to motivate yourself.

Essentially the pleasure-pain principle is: You will do whatever brings you the least pain or the most pleasure.

You will not put your hand on a hot stove because you know it will bring you pain. You will watch your favorite tv show because it brings you pleasure.

Also, you will eat ice cream even though you know it is bad for you – because short-term it will bring you great pleasure. This is important, because the second part of the pleasure-pain principle is: You will see an action as pleasureful or painful based on how powerful and immediate that pleasure / pain is in your mind.

So coming back to the main point: Why do you fap?

It is because you have become so conditioned, to the pleasure of fap that you cannot accurately gauge the pain. Every time you fap you condition your brain and body to believe fap is pleasure. Your thoughts and actions have shown your brain that you will get more pleasure right now, than pain later. However, just because your brain believes it – does not make it true! If you keep fapping you will experience great and terrible pain –  you could get Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, you can find yourself looking at illegal porn that can land you in jail for 20+ years, you can lose your relationships, marriages and so much more!

So what you need to do now is reverse this process. You need to reverse the conditioning that you have built in over the years. It will not be easy but it will be worth it.

Exercise:

  1. Write down on paper – it help you retain the information better – every single terrible thing that fapping has caused in your life. And as you write these really think deeply about them. Feel the emotions connected to these terrible events and states of being. For me, I had Porn induced Erectile Dyfunction…I had tried to sleep with this beautiful girl 3 times and no matter how much we tried … no matter how much blowjobs she gave me or grinded on me .. I couldn’t get it up. I felt ashamed. I felt like I wasn’t a man – I was terrified I was a eunuch or something. There was this and so many more reasons I quit.
  2. Once you have all your reasons to quit listed, now list all the good things porn and masturbation have done for you. It’s not going to be a long list 😛
  3. Then compare them and recognize how little porn is doing for you – its total dead weight. It’s draining you and it’s ruining your life. I guarantee it. There is no way someone who is addicted to porn / masturbation is living up to their potential! You deserve better.
  4. Finally, go through your list of negatives and write down a full paragraph detailing each one and why it’s so important that you turn it and stop receiving this negative effect from porn.

Christians / Anyone willing:

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