Why is it, when given the same resources, one person can achieve a goal while another fails miserably?
The answer is simple, but very important. Without this one thing you will fail over and over. Without it you will be left wondering why you keep running into obstacles, why you run into the same obstacles time after time. You will see little, if any, progress towards your goal.
This key to success is 100% commitment.
With 100% commitment, you do not need a plan. You do not need a guide, a website, a forum, a mentor or a self-help coach – you can start with 100% commitment and find success. You will naturally find the solutions to the challenges that face you because you know that you must succeed.
What do I mean by 100% commitment? I mean that you have decided that this goal is important enough that you will give virtually anything to achieve it – it is not something you would like to accomplish, or hope to accomplish, it something that you must accomplish. With any goal there will be a level of sacrifice required of you. That sacrifice may be time, it may be money, it may be comfort, it can even be your mind set: the very perspective that you view the world through. Nofap requires many sacrifices, the first of which you will do today.
In a legend of Alexander the Great there is a story where he had invaded a province of Persia by sea. Upon arrival, Alexander’s scouts went to spy on the Persian camps. They found that the Persian battalions there were much larger than they had anticipated. When Alexander’s men heard this they pleaded with him to retreat – to go home. Alexander thought on this and ordered his men to set fire to their boats saying
“We leave these shores in Persian ships or we die”.
Just like Alexander ordered his men, you must burn your own ships – give yourself no option to retreat. To fail at Nofap for the rest of your life is to be an addict, to be a slave. Will you live as a slave or will you rise up and fight as a man? Give yourself no mock defense, the time has come to burn you own boats.
- On paper (you will remember it better!), make a list of the 5 most recent times you failed at Nofap – your relapses. Write down the details surrounding that relapse, including where you were, what you used to relapse (computer, pornography magazine, imagination / fantasy, lotion, toys, etc.), why you relapsed and anything else that stands out to you. Be specific, explain it on paper as you would to a stranger who does not know you.
- Find the key factors in each example that caused you to relapse. For example, you might have a laptop in your bedroom. As you tried to fall asleep you kept thinking of using the laptop for pornography. Slowly as the night went on that desire built up until you lost control and gave in, causing you to relapse. The laptop would be the key factor here.
- Come up with a plan to eliminate all of these key factors from your life: If you have a laptop, sell it! If you can’t sell it then find someone to put on blocking software and accountability software. If you have pornography magazines, burn them or throw them in the trash. Got a smartphone? Down-grade to a flip phone with no web browser. Stop keeping lotion on your nightstand. Whatever it is that causes you to stumble and fall – get rid of it!
And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell – Mark 9:47
You don’t have to be a Christian to appreciate that verse 🙂
Stay strong! As always if you have questions, leave a comment.