Nofap is hard work. Virtually everything I teach to you through this blog will be exercise based. We as humans learn much more by doing than by reading, hearing or watching. So get ready to work and be a doer.
Let me tell you right now, it will be easier for you to give up fapping for life than it will be to give it up for 90 days. If you focus on 90 days you give yourself permission to relapse at 91 days. If you focus on a week, you will give yourself permission to relapse after a week. Don’t be fooled by the media, don’t be fooled by your friends, don’t be fooled by your douche-bag brain! Porn is evil and no one who is masturbating is striving to be the greatest version of themselves. I’m sorry if you feel differently and I’ve offended you but this blog is about truth and helping people who want to be cured – if that’s not you then you are reading the wrong blog.
Why do we fap?
I hated fapping and porn. After I used I always felt depressed, empty, lonely and scared. I was scared people would find out about my addiction. I was separated from all joy. I felt I had no self control and no self worth. I couldn’t talk to girls because every time I even looked at a cute girl I saw porn scenes running through my mind. I was tired all the time because I spent hours and hours on the computer every day looking for “the perfect scene” where all my fantasies would be fulfilled. I virtually never went outside, exercised or hung out with my friends. Fap was consuming my life. I was sick to death of fap and of the lifestyle.
So why didn’t I just stop?
Firstly, I was an addict. I firmly believe that the neurochemicals released during fap can create psychological dependence.
But psychologically there was a reason I continued to fap even though it was painful and harmful. It is called the pleasure-pain principle. Anthony Robbins, renowned success guru / life coach talks about this subject a lot. That’s because it is so important in understanding how to motivate yourself.
Essentially the pleasure-pain principle is: You will do whatever brings you the least pain or the most pleasure.
You will not put your hand on a hot stove because you know it will bring you pain. You will watch your favorite tv show because it brings you pleasure.
Also, you will eat ice cream even though you know it is bad for you – because short-term it will bring you great pleasure. This is important, because the second part of the pleasure-pain principle is: You will see an action as pleasureful or painful based on how powerful and immediate that pleasure / pain is in your mind.
So coming back to the main point: Why do you fap?
It is because you have become so conditioned, to the pleasure of fap that you cannot accurately gauge the pain. Every time you fap you condition your brain and body to believe fap is pleasure. Your thoughts and actions have shown your brain that you will get more pleasure right now, than pain later. However, just because your brain believes it – does not make it true! If you keep fapping you will experience great and terrible pain – you could get Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, you can find yourself looking at illegal porn that can land you in jail for 20+ years, you can lose your relationships, marriages and so much more!
So what you need to do now is reverse this process. You need to reverse the conditioning that you have built in over the years. It will not be easy but it will be worth it.
- Write down on paper – it help you retain the information better – every single terrible thing that fapping has caused in your life. And as you write these really think deeply about them. Feel the emotions connected to these terrible events and states of being. For me, I had Porn induced Erectile Dyfunction…I had tried to sleep with this beautiful girl 3 times and no matter how much we tried … no matter how much blowjobs she gave me or grinded on me .. I couldn’t get it up. I felt ashamed. I felt like I wasn’t a man – I was terrified I was a eunuch or something. There was this and so many more reasons I quit.
- Once you have all your reasons to quit listed, now list all the good things porn and masturbation have done for you. It’s not going to be a long list 😛
- Then compare them and recognize how little porn is doing for you – its total dead weight. It’s draining you and it’s ruining your life. I guarantee it. There is no way someone who is addicted to porn / masturbation is living up to their potential! You deserve better.
- Finally, go through your list of negatives and write down a full paragraph detailing each one and why it’s so important that you turn it and stop receiving this negative effect from porn.
Christians / Anyone willing:
In addition to the above exercise, read the following verses and reflect on them deeply. Pray or meditate on them and their meaning. Then write down what you think they mean and how you will use his knowledge to help you quit fapping.
- Eph 6: 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
- James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
- Gal 5:19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Thank you for reading this post, you are so awesome just for attempting this. Stay strong brothers!
If you feel brave post the results of this exercise to the comments section below – you never know who you will inspire.